when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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