I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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