Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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