If you die in college, do you die in real life?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
