Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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