She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
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