so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
