And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
