I wanna passion pit in your ass
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
