I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
