Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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