The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
