Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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