This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
