You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just gift wrapped bread.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
