a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
