i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize