Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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