wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
