Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
