If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
