She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
