Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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