I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Your penis caused this!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize