You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
