Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
