I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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