Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
