they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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