i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
