We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
