Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I believe in your delicious
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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