Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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