Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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