It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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