the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
