he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
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The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
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He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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