theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
