5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
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