Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
