Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You don't make any sense
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