do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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