I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
