I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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