I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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