I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize