found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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