well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
