i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
