I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
