The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
