Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
