She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
