oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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