I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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