That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
