But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I smell like Dick and happiness
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
