i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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