maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
