I want to stick my p in your. b.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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