I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
