my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
